Life is full of surprises – we hear that all the time. You get surprised on Christmas, Birthday, anniversary… that’s the good kind. Then you have stuff like the surprise someone leaves in a toilet bowl, you get surprised when someone’s shit clogs the toilet in an airplane (see the previous entry). Some people get surprised when they find out the person they were dating is not of the opposite sex. They all fall in some category; at least I thought they did until I had my laundry room surprise.
Nope, it’s not your random rendezvous with a hot chick or an encounter with someone wider than the washing machine. I can’t categorize this surprise in any known class. It’s boring, but I thought I should write about it.
I will not mention any company name, as I don’t want to tarnish any kind of reputation. I have been sent to India from my company to work with one of our vendors for six months. So, I stay at the Indian company’s corporate campus. It’s gorgeous, but that’s as far as architecture goes. In terms of functionality, it is utterly useless. Perhaps that’s how things work here. After all, this company is one of the leaders in its field.
Back to laundry business… about five thousand people live in this campus. And there are only twenty washers and twenty dryer in an awkward location for them to use. Think that’s funny? Four of the washer and eight of the dryer don’t work. Surprised? That’s just the beginning of the story.
First day I went to do laundry, I was told to go back to reception which is about a quarter mile away, and get laundry tickets. Mind you, I toted the laundry in my carryon about half a mile from my building. The only form of transportation available to me is bicycles with no gears (in a mountainous region). Walking with my carryon seemed like a better option over pushing a bicycle up hill with my laundry in it.
So, I get my laundry tickets and go back to the laundry joint. I was told to sign a log book with my name, badge number, date, time, room number, department, signature and some other random crap. When I went to a laundry machine after a long wait (five thousand people are trying to wash their shit in 16 small washing machines), I was surprised to find that the little slip I got from reception doesn’t go in the machine. I was informed that there is a guy with a coin whom I have to seek, and he starts the machine. After an extensive search, I found the guy with the magic golden coin (it’s true… he really carries a golden coin). Upon my return to the machine, I found random people trying to take my clothes out of the washer, as they thought that my clothes were done (I thought “Fucking aye! What a surprise!). So, the coin guy puts his magic coin in and gets it out immediately, and I start the machine. I’m thinking, finding shit on Tomb Raider was easier than finding the Magic Coin Guy… this was just the beginning.
Dryers take twice as long as washers – even the dumb fuck across the street can tell you that. So, imagine the wait once your clothes are out of the dryer. Now came the fun part, find the coin hogging Houdini to start the dryer. By the time I came back with the idiot, someone had already put in their clothes in the dryer, and wouldn’t let go. So, I ask the guy politely: “WTF?” In response, he wiggles his head, looks around, and puts his hand on a few dryer, (on the glass – they were front loading), and says “Done!” Obviously, I am surprised, as the timer says 39 minutes left. I ask him, “you sure?” He simply gets this guy to get his clothes out, and instructs me to put mine in. I obliged, wondering how the fuck can he tell if clothes are dry by putting his hand on the glass window of a dryer – that is one surprising talent! I stayed in the ultra humid, hot room as I was afraid his touch-o-logy will result in extraction of my clothes while they were damp, and I was ready to put up a fight. To my surprise, he let it run the entire course – I must say it was a pleasant one… surprise that is.
My clothes were still damp after an hour in the dryer, but the Dryer Nazi wouldn’t run the dryer any more for my clothes. On my way back to the dorm (Hostel – as they call it), I’m feeling sorry for the guy who had to take out his clothes after only 21 minutes, and was wondering if his underpants will have any kind of fungal growth – then it dawned on me, may be that’s why everyone’s arm pit smells funny! Their clothes don’t get dry, parasites and bacteria thrive, and emit odor when they get some moisture from the arm pits. Maybe my hypothesis is wrong; as I’ve seen the very few things of deodorant you see on the store shelves have a thick layer of dust on top of them.
Who knows why arm pits smell, and why the goddamn coin guy doesn’t collect the money onsite, why he disappears, why I have to fill out a log book to wash my socks and underwear (I give my shirts and slacks to the wash and press – which is another surprise in it’s own right), why the washer/dryer ratio is 4:3, and why there are only 1 washer/dryer installed for every 250 individual (this includes the non-working models). That’s a surprise. But more than that, I am surprised how this company manages to deliver some of the best products and services in its respective industry. Surprise is not the word, I am fucking surprised. This is one fucked up shit I can’t explain.
Nope, it’s not your random rendezvous with a hot chick or an encounter with someone wider than the washing machine. I can’t categorize this surprise in any known class. It’s boring, but I thought I should write about it.
I will not mention any company name, as I don’t want to tarnish any kind of reputation. I have been sent to India from my company to work with one of our vendors for six months. So, I stay at the Indian company’s corporate campus. It’s gorgeous, but that’s as far as architecture goes. In terms of functionality, it is utterly useless. Perhaps that’s how things work here. After all, this company is one of the leaders in its field.
Back to laundry business… about five thousand people live in this campus. And there are only twenty washers and twenty dryer in an awkward location for them to use. Think that’s funny? Four of the washer and eight of the dryer don’t work. Surprised? That’s just the beginning of the story.
First day I went to do laundry, I was told to go back to reception which is about a quarter mile away, and get laundry tickets. Mind you, I toted the laundry in my carryon about half a mile from my building. The only form of transportation available to me is bicycles with no gears (in a mountainous region). Walking with my carryon seemed like a better option over pushing a bicycle up hill with my laundry in it.
So, I get my laundry tickets and go back to the laundry joint. I was told to sign a log book with my name, badge number, date, time, room number, department, signature and some other random crap. When I went to a laundry machine after a long wait (five thousand people are trying to wash their shit in 16 small washing machines), I was surprised to find that the little slip I got from reception doesn’t go in the machine. I was informed that there is a guy with a coin whom I have to seek, and he starts the machine. After an extensive search, I found the guy with the magic golden coin (it’s true… he really carries a golden coin). Upon my return to the machine, I found random people trying to take my clothes out of the washer, as they thought that my clothes were done (I thought “Fucking aye! What a surprise!). So, the coin guy puts his magic coin in and gets it out immediately, and I start the machine. I’m thinking, finding shit on Tomb Raider was easier than finding the Magic Coin Guy… this was just the beginning.
Dryers take twice as long as washers – even the dumb fuck across the street can tell you that. So, imagine the wait once your clothes are out of the dryer. Now came the fun part, find the coin hogging Houdini to start the dryer. By the time I came back with the idiot, someone had already put in their clothes in the dryer, and wouldn’t let go. So, I ask the guy politely: “WTF?” In response, he wiggles his head, looks around, and puts his hand on a few dryer, (on the glass – they were front loading), and says “Done!” Obviously, I am surprised, as the timer says 39 minutes left. I ask him, “you sure?” He simply gets this guy to get his clothes out, and instructs me to put mine in. I obliged, wondering how the fuck can he tell if clothes are dry by putting his hand on the glass window of a dryer – that is one surprising talent! I stayed in the ultra humid, hot room as I was afraid his touch-o-logy will result in extraction of my clothes while they were damp, and I was ready to put up a fight. To my surprise, he let it run the entire course – I must say it was a pleasant one… surprise that is.
My clothes were still damp after an hour in the dryer, but the Dryer Nazi wouldn’t run the dryer any more for my clothes. On my way back to the dorm (Hostel – as they call it), I’m feeling sorry for the guy who had to take out his clothes after only 21 minutes, and was wondering if his underpants will have any kind of fungal growth – then it dawned on me, may be that’s why everyone’s arm pit smells funny! Their clothes don’t get dry, parasites and bacteria thrive, and emit odor when they get some moisture from the arm pits. Maybe my hypothesis is wrong; as I’ve seen the very few things of deodorant you see on the store shelves have a thick layer of dust on top of them.
Who knows why arm pits smell, and why the goddamn coin guy doesn’t collect the money onsite, why he disappears, why I have to fill out a log book to wash my socks and underwear (I give my shirts and slacks to the wash and press – which is another surprise in it’s own right), why the washer/dryer ratio is 4:3, and why there are only 1 washer/dryer installed for every 250 individual (this includes the non-working models). That’s a surprise. But more than that, I am surprised how this company manages to deliver some of the best products and services in its respective industry. Surprise is not the word, I am fucking surprised. This is one fucked up shit I can’t explain.
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